the ones that touch your heart

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind, im still trying to process everything. Things at school are busy, like maybe people, and many jobs. The place and time we live is just a busy place. But for the last 2 weeks I feel like i've been stuck in a bad dream. I've always heard the horrible teacher stories ever since I was in college about the lives some of the kids have etc, of course that became even more real when I moved to Little Rock and took the 1st grade job teaching in southwest LR. Last year, yes I didnt really know what I was getting myself into and pretty much everyday something new became a shock to me, so I honestly thought I could take anything this year but apparently I was wrong. Long story, short....one of my little girls was taken out of her home by DHS for several reasons, their story and mug shots of her mother have been all over the news, and now she is living in a foster home and has to attend another school not in our district. I know, the story sounds so sad and almost like it should not be that big of a deal but I just cant get this image of this little, innocent 6 year old with tears streaming down her face because her world has suddenly been turned upside down and there isnt one thing I can do. I've always heard the horrible stories of their lives at home, the kids who have 1 or both parents in jail, the kids whos 1 pair of shoes dont fit so they cry all day at school, the kids who sleep on the floor with their siblings, I could keep going. I dont know why this is the one thing I cant stop thinking about, but I guess its because its really made me realize that maybe I have forced myself to become so numb to all of this and for the first time I feel almost helpless at my job. I'm not super-woman, I cant fix the worlds of these 6 and 7 years olds, all I can do is hug on them and teach them and hope that that will be enough. I never thought teaching would be like this, I guess these lessons are just some of the many that they cant really teach you in college. I'm sure I will say this about most of my kids and most of my classes, but this class may just change my life. How can they not, they may have horrible things going on in their lives but they spend their days with me and they are all smiles, and I couldnt ask for anything more. I say this all the times but I feel like they always teach me more than I ever could teach them.

so far, so good

So, 2 post in 1 week...thats better than I had been doing :-) Here are a few pictures of my new group of kids.

This was from Community Helpers Day. They had a vehicle display outside with police cars, fire trucks, etc. The kids had a blast!

And this is obviously not one of my 1st graders. This is my puppy, Marley. He's a Razorback fan :-)

Two of my kiddos from last year...I miss them!

Playing on the playground.

honestly, I forgot...

So, its been a little over a year since I last wrote anything and I kind of hate that! I wanted to be so good with writing down all my experiences during my first year of teaching, and well life just caught up with me and it didn't happen. I do hopefully have enough pictures and a few experiences somewhere stored up in my memory of my first year of teaching. Well lets just be honest, I'm pretty sure I will never forget my first year.
Moving on....I'm finally a second year teacher! Yay!

I've thought several times this year so far that I need to write things down, today for example. One of my kids CAN NOT remember to bring his folder back. I remind him all the time, when hes "lost" it, I replace it, I've tried little rewards if he brings it back, but nothing works! Well this afternoon when I was signing folders I saw his in my stack and I about screamed I was so excited! To my surprise, when I opened it (well, first...it was a little rough looking on the outside) there was a dead bug crushed inside and what looked like pieces of a strawberry pop tart mushed all over the inside. I just laughed and thought to myself, at least he brought back his folder!

This year is so different from last in a million different ways. I think mostly, I know what to expect this year. Last year everyday had its own "first" of some sort. This year I'm more laid back and I kind of just know what I'm doing (which is a good feeling!) My class is completely different from last years! Even though we had a lot of ups and downs last year, they will always hold a special place in my heart. When I see them in the hallway they still want to hug on me and tell me about 2nd grade, so that makes me happy! But its a completely different ballgame this year! My kids this year are so well behaved and I feel like they actually want to be at school. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that I actually know what I'm doing this year :-)

I need to hurry up and pack up to go home. Its kind of nice this year actually being able to leave at a decent time! Thanks to my teacher friend Joanna...aka Mrs. Orsburn. We recently became neighbors this summer so we carpool to work now. Which has forced me to get here earlier in the mornings but we are able to leave earlier in the afternoons, so its a good trade off.

ISS stands for In School Suspension....

This is going to be quick because I am determined to go to bed early!
A quick recap of the last few days....last thursday, I had a little girl bring matches into my classroom, play with them on the playgroud and gave some to another boy, of course they got caught and spent the next 2 days in ISS. Last friday, one of my little boys got smacked in the face by the stop sign on the bus on his way to school, his face and his eye swelled up and now he has a lovely black eye. Monday, nothing too exciting. Tuesday, within 15 minutes I got 2 new students. Thankfully they are really sweet and so far very well behaved, its just thrown the last 2 days off trying to get them settled and caught up with procedures and making sure their name is on everything, etc. Then Tuesday afternoon I spent almost half an hour on the phone with a very upset mother, then the assistant principal and principal spent another hour on the phone with her. She now says shes going to take him out of our school, so we'll see. First thing today I get a phone call from and upset mother because apparently a boy in our class was hitting her on the bus, I pull the kids aside and he admitted to it and to hitting another kid in our class too! So, he'll be in ISS tom and so is another one of my kids who was sent home today because he is on his 3rd behavior document...wow, so now 6 of my 16 children have been in ISS....
I cant wait to find out whats going to happen tom :-)

don't take cold meds before school...

Well I made it 5 weeks of school without getting sick....mostly because I am constantly using hand sanatizer and I am also constantly spraying my entire room (and sometime my children) in lysol! I guess I was bound to get sick sooner or later. I decided I would still try to go to school today, yeah not such a great idea. I took my "daytime" cold medicine, which apparently can still make you sleepy, I wont ever do that again because it pretty much made me feel like I was in a cloud all day. During small group time I had a group of 2 kids at my table reading, I laied my head down just for a sec and about a minute later one of my little boys tapped my on the shoulder and asked if he needed to go to the office to call an ambulance they could make me feel better. So, I stopped things right there and called the doctor. It was pretty much pointless for me to go to school today, it just wore me out even more and its not fair to my kids for them to be stuck with a sick teacher. So the diagnosis is....bronchitis! Well, im certainly not suprised. For those of you that dont know, I had that in college about 7 out of 8 semesters that I was there, there is just something in this Arkansas air that does not agree with my system.
Needless to say, Im feeling a little better now that I have meds. Still havent decided if Im going to call in sick tom or not...I really dont want to because I hate having a sub and missing a day, I think it makes me feel more out of wack than it does my kids.

Sorry for the lack of updates....basically I have no life now and I guess im starting to get used to it. I never thought I would bring stuff home and work all night and still not have things done like I want. Im honestly looking forward to next year because I hope I will feel so much more prepared. Hey, I guess thats a good thing, that Im looking forward to next year; so after this year I will actually want to teach again.

I'll try to update again soon this week, with more pictures too.

i've made it to week 4!!

Again, Im sorry for not updating this weekend. Im just waiting for things to slow down a little bit so I can finally feel like I can get some things down, but Im beginning to realize that I dont think that is ever going to happen...oh well! Things are going well though, despite this very busy week. I have spent the entire night since I got home working of interims and sub lesson plans. Tomorrow night is our first PTA meeting and Open House. Then I will be gone all day Wednesday for ELLA training, Im not even sure I remember what that stands for but it has something to do with Early Literacy. Then I will be out again on Friday because I have to go to Memphis to go to the dentist, but I am really looking forward to coming home for a few days! So this is another busy week.

My kids and I are still adjusting, I guess that is the best way to put it. Overall things are getting much better, but I think I can say that now because I myself, is actually getting used to teaching and to the routine. Its really weird, I still feel like this is something that I go do everyday, not really like its a job. I enjoy it, although some days my kids do drive me crazy and their are still many days when I just want to cry but I think Im finally getting used to being a teacher so that makes things easier. The whole transition into being a teacher is very differently that I thought it would be, and honestly I cant even say why. Student teaching and all the experiences I had at Harding were great, but I really believe that NOTHING can actually prepare you for having your own class. And as wonderful as Harding is, the kids you work with in that part of the state are TOTALLY different than the children I work with, but I wouldnt have it any other way, I love my kids! And they are mine, I guess thats part of the reason why I do love them...and its not always easily, trust me...some days I have to try really hard to love them!

Im going to try to put up some pictures from our Book Character Day parade. It was a lot of fun, the kids really enjoyed. Their mask turned out really cute. I posted the other day saying that we all dressed up as the girl in the Book, Bad Case of Stripes. Basically the story is about a girl who wakes up one morning covered in stripes! Its a cute book. So I actually painted my face and arms with stripes, I never thought I would do that, but all the other teachers were doing big things so I felt the pressure! I looked crazy of course, but my kids reaction was totally worth it!
We also have grandparents day this week...see, I told you it was going to be a busy week!

Overall things are good. I had one student transfer to another school and then 2 of my problem children were moved to another class, thanks goodness! So we are adjusting to our new class of 15, which is a good number I think!
I still keep thinking that im going to go back and start classes at Harding soon, but im not...its werid! But im loving life in Little Rock, Im thankful for my school and all the people I work with! If I didnt have such a great group at school, Im not sure I could handle the problems i've had! I dont really feel like I have much of a life anymore but I do get to see my favorite people :-) and if it wasent for them I may have never ended up staying in Little Rock.

A bad case of the stripes!

Im sorry for not updating over the 3 day weekend but I'll update tonight and this weekend, alots beeing going on!!

As I speak my kiddos are making mask for our favorite book character parade tom. We read David Shannons, A Bad Case of the Stripes and now we are making mask to wear tomorrow. They are cracking me up with the masks! I'll have to take pictures tom and put them up. And if you havent read that book, you should...its too funny!!

Oh, and to Amy Smart....thank you for your comment :-) and yes, i know myspace has a blog section, but I cant log into myspace from school, you know....they like to block some of our internet sites like the good ole days at HU!