Memory Lane

Today I was home sick. And yes, I was actually sick. Strep...thanks to my kids and a sinus infection...thanks to allergies from living in the south and I guess genetics. With that said this is not a post related to teaching, my career etc...its just a random post. So, you've been warned.

While home sick today and bored out of my mind, I found myself searching through old photo albums and boxes with cards and letters. And wow, I may only be 24 but I feel like so many of those things were from a lifetime ago. A good chunk of things were from college, which is hard to believe that next week it will have been 2 years since I graduated! So much has changed since then. So much has changed in the last few months, let alone last few years! Looking through all of those pictures and things was just a big reminder of how different I am, how much I've changed. When you're in college you think you're so grown up, etc. But low and behold that's just the beginning of "growing up". I was such a different person then. I guess that's the beauty of getting older, you learn to appreciate the changes in your life and are able to look back and see where you came from. I guess its also makes me hopeful for the future. I would like to think that I've been hopeful and happy all these years, but I think part of that is learning that our definitions of hopeful and happy change along with us and that's ok to. Its ok to change and grow, its all a part of this little adventure we call life.

I say potato, you say potato

One of the biggest things I've learned in the last year and a half of teaching first grade is that first graders lose a lot of teeth. This really impacts their speech, most of them to the point where I can't understand them! Right now I have 6 children that are missing both of their front teeth. Honestly, those are my favorite smiles, the ones with no teeth. But its making it almost impossible to understand them!

But then I have the stubborn children who can speak perfectly fine but insist on saying things like pack pack...which really means backpack. The one I hate the most is "I gotta use it." This is usually how our conversation:
1st grader: "I gotta use it."
Miss. Wenner: "Use what?"
1st grader: "use IT"
Miss. Wenner: "Whats it?"
1st grader: "you know, it!"
Miss. Wenner: "No, I don't know what it is. Once you can tell me what it is, then I'll let you use it."
1st grader: "Miss. Wenner, I really really need to use it. I'm gonna pee on myself!"
Miss. Wenner: "Oh, do you need to use the restroom?"
1st grader: "Yeah...I need to use it!"
Miss. Wenner: "You need to use the restroom?"
1st grader: "no it"
Miss. Wenner: "We do not refer to the restroom as it. If you need to use the restroom, we say...Can I please use the restroom?"

Seriously, I swear to you that's how it goes every time with all of my kids. We have talked about this since the first day of school, and we are still saying "I gotta use it." Ughh...sometimes I think they keep doing it because they know it drives me nuts!

I may be the only one who has spring fever...that can't be a good thing when the teacher does before the kids!

"eww...look what I found in my ear!"

I really wish I was better at writing down all the crazy, funny, random things my kids come up with because there is never a dull moment in 1st grade! One of my little friends was "pulling" things out of his ear today...so we had a mini lesson on ear wax and why its important to clean our ears! He was also the one who came to school with his shirt on backwards today. Oh my goodness, I'll just add that to the list of things I didn't think I would have to teach!

Its been an interesting last few weeks, we have testing this week so we've been trying to cram in all those last minute things. As well as covering everything in our classroom. Every word, letter, number, etc must be covered. Its kind of funny that I spend weeks up here in the summer decorating the room and then it all has to be taken down or covered for 2 days of testing...ugh!

We are on the downhill slide for the school year, with only 8 weeks and 2 days left! I think I'm the only one keeping track...my kids haven't caught on yet :-) Its been a good year though, and its gone by so fast! I'm ready for summer. Although it looks like I may be teaching summer school for 4 weeks, its just too good to pass up $25/hr!

its been a while...

I honestly don't know why I thought I would actually be better this year at "blogging" but I guess that's just life, always busy!
Well here is a quick update on the last few months at school. We made it through the holidays and our much needed break. Getting back into the swing of things certainly was a lot easier this year than last. Enjoyed a few snow days, really most of them I wouldn't count as "snow" days but then again I'm not in charge so I don't make those calls. February marked the 100th day of school, which of course is a big deal in elementary school! And the usual Valentines Parties which at the time I threatened to boycott next year, mostly thanks to a few children in my class who thought out carpet need to be stained with pink and red cupcake frosting...lets just hope they actually shampoo the carpets this summer. Our school has been collecting plastic sacks as part of Walmarts recycling program. We had a contest among the grade levels for the month of February and my class (with the help of my parents and friends) brought it over 1,000 bags! Sadly, we did not win. Another class beat us by about 300. And here we are counting down the days until spring break...its 12 days just in case you were wondering! I have been better this year about taking picture so I'll try to add some later this week.

I can't believe its already March, this year really has flown by. As the end of the year is approaching I'm starting to get sad. Not because of my current kids moving on to 2nd grade...at least not yet. I'm getting sad that my kids from last year will be leaving Chicot. Our school only goes to 2nd grade so they will be moving on to the intermediate school next year. One of my girls from last year came up and found me this morning and was telling me she didn't want to go to 3rd grade, and I'm horrible for saying this but I told her I didn't want her to either! Of course I do want her to, but I'm just going to miss not being able to see them. Yes, it was not the perfect year, but those were my first group of kids, they will always special to me and I just feel like its not fair that I have to say bye to them yet.

Things have been so strange this year, so different from last year. In so many ways this year has been so much better but I guess there are just different struggles this year. So much has been happening the last few weeks with one of my kids. Lets call him Jay. This little boy has changed my life as a teacher this year...well him and so many others to be honest. But him I've been fighting for all year, since the very first day of school. Jay has several special needs, and to be honest hes not getting what he deserves, not from me! Lets just make sure that's clear. I really do feel like I am doing everything I possibly can for him. I have done everything that everyone has told me to do but yet I still feel like I'm stuck and it just SUCKS!! I think I've really learned this year what my job really means and that I really do have to be an advocate for these children. Now in Jay's situation of course there are a lot of other factors, but a big one is the school psychologist who just wants to say he doesnt have any problems when there is PLENTY of documentation that says he does. She has a reputation for doing this but its just not right. I honestly don't know how she sleeps at night. I've made a decision today though, I'm done being the nice little teacher...ok, well I'll still be the nice little teacher but i'm done just sitting there and not loudly voicing my opinion. It has to be done, I will fight this until the last day of school if I have to because its whats right, and whats fair for my kid.

Sometimes I think if people only knew what goes on in schools, school districts, etc they would be so shocked. I know I am and I work for the school district. I thought as educators we were supose to be changing the lives of these kids for the better. To love and teach them everyday, no matter what. Thats why I became a teacher. No one tells you how hards its going to be. Not in college, not in real life. I know, life is hard. Being a grown up...or becoming a grown up is hard. I know all jobs have their own struggles and problems. But as far as education and teaching is concerned, I can honestly say I had no idea it was going to be like this. Some days it really does suck. It is getting easier, but I really am thankful for all the teachers I've had in my life. I guess now I know what its like. But unless you've worked in a classroom and been in these type of situations you really have no idea what its like. No idea about the emotional, physical and mental stress that effects everypart of who you are. Just like I dont know the stress of so many other occupations out there. I am so thankful for my "teacher friends" they know what its like and without them I'm not sure what I would do. Oh, and let me just clear something up...dont say to any teacher that you know how easy his/her job is and comment about getting the summer off. Because I promise you if you tried to come and do my job for 1 day you would think differently. And for all the overtime we put in every single day, we deserve 2 months of summer. And usually there is professional development or meetings in the summer!

Well on a more personal note....haha, if this hasen't been personal enough. Which is really werid because I did not plan on "spilling my guts" like that ever in this blog. Its also kind of ironic today, as I was talking with our counselors I kind of started getting upset because we were talking and talking about this kid and I just couldn't help but tear up. One of them said, you should journal or workout or something to release all this stress. And I'm thinking...well I already go to the gym for a hour every afternoon! Yes, part of I guess you could call it my new years resolutuion or I just go because it really does help with my stress! So here is my journaling I guess. Back to the personal note....I've decided to stay in Little Rock for at least another year. Which is a change in plans since I had decided to move to Texas....lets just hope that is still in the near future.
I'm moving into a house with a friend from my Harding days, I'm really excited about the next year!

Now its almost 9pm, which most nights would be my bedtime....yes, I know. I really do miss the days of going to bed at 11pm and calling that early, but 5am comes too early for that. But tonight, is the 2nd night of the Bachelor after the final rose special...and don't even get me started on that!

Fingers crossed that I will get better with the updates! and pictures!

the ones that touch your heart

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind, im still trying to process everything. Things at school are busy, like maybe people, and many jobs. The place and time we live is just a busy place. But for the last 2 weeks I feel like i've been stuck in a bad dream. I've always heard the horrible teacher stories ever since I was in college about the lives some of the kids have etc, of course that became even more real when I moved to Little Rock and took the 1st grade job teaching in southwest LR. Last year, yes I didnt really know what I was getting myself into and pretty much everyday something new became a shock to me, so I honestly thought I could take anything this year but apparently I was wrong. Long story, short....one of my little girls was taken out of her home by DHS for several reasons, their story and mug shots of her mother have been all over the news, and now she is living in a foster home and has to attend another school not in our district. I know, the story sounds so sad and almost like it should not be that big of a deal but I just cant get this image of this little, innocent 6 year old with tears streaming down her face because her world has suddenly been turned upside down and there isnt one thing I can do. I've always heard the horrible stories of their lives at home, the kids who have 1 or both parents in jail, the kids whos 1 pair of shoes dont fit so they cry all day at school, the kids who sleep on the floor with their siblings, I could keep going. I dont know why this is the one thing I cant stop thinking about, but I guess its because its really made me realize that maybe I have forced myself to become so numb to all of this and for the first time I feel almost helpless at my job. I'm not super-woman, I cant fix the worlds of these 6 and 7 years olds, all I can do is hug on them and teach them and hope that that will be enough. I never thought teaching would be like this, I guess these lessons are just some of the many that they cant really teach you in college. I'm sure I will say this about most of my kids and most of my classes, but this class may just change my life. How can they not, they may have horrible things going on in their lives but they spend their days with me and they are all smiles, and I couldnt ask for anything more. I say this all the times but I feel like they always teach me more than I ever could teach them.

so far, so good

So, 2 post in 1 week...thats better than I had been doing :-) Here are a few pictures of my new group of kids.

This was from Community Helpers Day. They had a vehicle display outside with police cars, fire trucks, etc. The kids had a blast!

And this is obviously not one of my 1st graders. This is my puppy, Marley. He's a Razorback fan :-)

Two of my kiddos from last year...I miss them!

Playing on the playground.

honestly, I forgot...

So, its been a little over a year since I last wrote anything and I kind of hate that! I wanted to be so good with writing down all my experiences during my first year of teaching, and well life just caught up with me and it didn't happen. I do hopefully have enough pictures and a few experiences somewhere stored up in my memory of my first year of teaching. Well lets just be honest, I'm pretty sure I will never forget my first year.
Moving on....I'm finally a second year teacher! Yay!

I've thought several times this year so far that I need to write things down, today for example. One of my kids CAN NOT remember to bring his folder back. I remind him all the time, when hes "lost" it, I replace it, I've tried little rewards if he brings it back, but nothing works! Well this afternoon when I was signing folders I saw his in my stack and I about screamed I was so excited! To my surprise, when I opened it (well, first...it was a little rough looking on the outside) there was a dead bug crushed inside and what looked like pieces of a strawberry pop tart mushed all over the inside. I just laughed and thought to myself, at least he brought back his folder!

This year is so different from last in a million different ways. I think mostly, I know what to expect this year. Last year everyday had its own "first" of some sort. This year I'm more laid back and I kind of just know what I'm doing (which is a good feeling!) My class is completely different from last years! Even though we had a lot of ups and downs last year, they will always hold a special place in my heart. When I see them in the hallway they still want to hug on me and tell me about 2nd grade, so that makes me happy! But its a completely different ballgame this year! My kids this year are so well behaved and I feel like they actually want to be at school. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that I actually know what I'm doing this year :-)

I need to hurry up and pack up to go home. Its kind of nice this year actually being able to leave at a decent time! Thanks to my teacher friend Joanna...aka Mrs. Orsburn. We recently became neighbors this summer so we carpool to work now. Which has forced me to get here earlier in the mornings but we are able to leave earlier in the afternoons, so its a good trade off.