The last few weeks have been a whirlwind, im still trying to process everything. Things at school are busy, like maybe people, and many jobs. The place and time we live is just a busy place. But for the last 2 weeks I feel like i've been stuck in a bad dream. I've always heard the horrible teacher stories ever since I was in college about the lives some of the kids have etc, of course that became even more real when I moved to Little Rock and took the 1st grade job teaching in southwest LR. Last year, yes I didnt really know what I was getting myself into and pretty much everyday something new became a shock to me, so I honestly thought I could take anything this year but apparently I was wrong. Long story, short....one of my little girls was taken out of her home by DHS for several reasons, their story and mug shots of her mother have been all over the news, and now she is living in a foster home and has to attend another school not in our district. I know, the story sounds so sad and almost like it should not be that big of a deal but I just cant get this image of this little, innocent 6 year old with tears streaming down her face because her world has suddenly been turned upside down and there isnt one thing I can do. I've always heard the horrible stories of their lives at home, the kids who have 1 or both parents in jail, the kids whos 1 pair of shoes dont fit so they cry all day at school, the kids who sleep on the floor with their siblings, I could keep going. I dont know why this is the one thing I cant stop thinking about, but I guess its because its really made me realize that maybe I have forced myself to become so numb to all of this and for the first time I feel almost helpless at my job. I'm not super-woman, I cant fix the worlds of these 6 and 7 years olds, all I can do is hug on them and teach them and hope that that will be enough. I never thought teaching would be like this, I guess these lessons are just some of the many that they cant really teach you in college. I'm sure I will say this about most of my kids and most of my classes, but this class may just change my life. How can they not, they may have horrible things going on in their lives but they spend their days with me and they are all smiles, and I couldnt ask for anything more. I say this all the times but I feel like they always teach me more than I ever could teach them.
